Dear Little Bug,

To my dear, sweet little bug. Where do I even begin this letter? You turned one today. A number at times I couldn't wait to reach and at others I tried pushing it away as long as possible. Just one year ago yesterday you were in my belly. You were kicking and squirming and trying to find some more space under my ribs. You decided enough was enough and made your appearance. Just one year ago today I was sitting in the hospital bed with a brand new human being staring up at me making me realize I was the one responsible to feed and clothe and shelter her. To protect her from all things bad while letting her still make her own mistakes. And all I could do was stare at you and wonder how I was feeling this ever growing love for you so quickly.

Last night you woke up about 2:30am and I let you try to soothe yourself to sleep but I could just tell you needed mama. So I made a bottle and came and cuddled you and then you fell asleep on my shoulder. I remember when you used to fit in one of my arms. Now it takes two for those long legs and chunky little bum to fit. We just sat there, just the two of us. Like a year before that when you were in my belly and I was the only one that knew you. I sat there much longer than I needed to, but I couldn't get enough of you right then.

You have turned into such an amazing little gal. I still swear you are a genius and Daddy makes fun of me for it but I know you are wiser much beyond your age. You can point to your nose and your ears and you love turning the pages to your books as I read them. You know what's coming in your favorite books too which always makes me grin. Hiding your toys is a favorite hobby too. And you are such a good girl when Mommy asks you to put your toys away, you know exactly what to do.

I love you more than there are stars in the sky, booger butt. Even though I shed a tear tonight as I put you down to sleep on your first birthday as I think back to my tiny newborn, I can't help but be excited for what is to come for us. The fun things we'll explore together. The fights we'll get into over how late you can be on the phone but then the loving hugs and kisses when we make up from those fights.

I'm bound to make mistakes through this whole thing. At the time I'm sure you'll be glad to point them out to me. But some day, when you look into the eyes of your own little bug staring up at you in your hospital bed, you'll understand that I only ever wanted the absolute best for you.

Sweet dreams my angel.

Love always,
Mommy