Blah...Blah...Blah...

That's all I feel like I say anymore. haha! I really have no significant updates. I hit 18 weeks yesterday and for some reason it felt like such a milestone. Most people would consider 20 weeks to be the milestone. But as we've all discovered, I am certainly not like most people. :)

So what did I do to celebrate this milestone? Laid in bed sick all day. Ugh! haha!

I've been feeling the little gremlin a little more often now. That's what I've decided to call it instead of Bean. Gremlin. Yesterday it was Blood-Sucking Gremlin. Today, it's back to just Gremlin. haha!

Rick and I aren't really having much luck agreeing on names at all. Well, mostly I suggest names then he makes fun of them in some capacity. haha! His reasons for shooting them down are really quite lame...but I'm in no rush yet to pick one. So on we'll go with our random game. :)

What else...hm....work sucks. Big time. Our company is dissolving and the partners are splitting into their own companies. It sucks. I'm stuck in the middle of a lot of it and I really do hate it. I feel like I was brought into an unfair situation and I'm very frustrated by the whole thing. I may not have a job at all in two months. That could suck, I suppose. Then again, at least I won't be in this environment anymore. The stress is certainly not helping how I feel every day.

I'm starting to get very anxious about the fetal echo. I know stressing or worrying about it will help no one or do any good, but I can't help it. What if there is something wrong? Even though they can fix it about 75% of the time now, what if we fall in that 25% category. The saddest thing is I'm still not feeling connected really at all. So the extremely ridiculously selfish part of me is worried I'm suffering and completely sick for absolutely no reason at all. The motherly side of me can't imagine having to watch a human being suffer and having to bury my child. Clearly I have mental issues.

Update

So I figured I'd throw out a bit of an update. Not a whole lot to update about though.

I'm still sick. Shocked? Yeah, me either :( It's sucking so hard core. The doctor gave me a new script to try but it made me WAY jittery so I stopped taking it. Like unbearably jittery. Now I'm back to throwing up. Oh the joy.

My belly is turning into a baby belly slowly but surely. I can't suck it all the way in anymore so that's how I know it's different. That and cause it's hard now. Feels totally different.

I felt the baby moving around for the first real time on Saturday night. It was pretty crazy! We were bowling with some people Rick works with and there was a disco song that came on. It was too funny so I had to text my parents and let them know. I knew my dad would love that part and he definitely did!

Hm, what else? I really can't think of much else right now. I'll be 17 weeks on Wednesday. It seems very surreal. Like time shouldn't be passing as quickly as it actually is. We've known for about 12 weeks now and to think that much time has passed since my shaking hand held that positive test is amazing to me. I'm almost half way through my pregnancy. How is that even possible? In 23 weeks they are going to let me birth and care for a human being. Holy crap!

Belly Pictures

So I'm having a hard time feeling pregnant right now. I mean, obviously it's the reason I'm sick all.the.fucking.time and why my boobs are huge and all that good stuff. But I just feel, well, fat. Here are some comparison photos for you to share in my feelings on this one.

Just before 5 weeks...

And 15 weeks on the nose (or should we say on the boobs and ass?)...

15 weeks

tomorrow. Officially 15 weeks tomorrow. Where has the time gone already? I found out almost 11 weeks ago that we were expecting. It seems like yesterday. I remember sitting on the toilet shaking just staring at that those two lines. And now?

Well now I'm still pretty sick a good majority of the time. Right now I'm sucking down some tea with honey and lemon tea to soothe my poor throat that is dying from all of the throwing up. ps - just had to look up that honey was safe because for some reason I felt like I had seen that it wasn't. I'm weird.

I'm starting to get a wee bit of a baby bump. I feel like it's still too early. But I'm pretty thin and I really don't have super strong stomach muscles or anything to hold it in, so I guess it's possible. I can only see it when I suck all the bloat in and in the mornings when I lay on my back. My tummy doesn't go completely flat like it used to. I can feel my super hard uterus in there too.

I haven't felt the baby any more. Or what I thought was the baby. Could have been gas that felt like it, or it could have been a total fluke that I happened to be sitting there still and quiet enough to feel it in the first place anyhow. Either way, I'll be excited when I really do feel those strong kicks. :)

I think that's actually all. We go next week for our 16 week appointment and to set the appointments for the anatomy scan and for the fetal echo. I will surely be a nervous wreck when it comes time for those. But I'll keep my blind faith that all will be well. Worrying won't do either of us any good.