"Becky, what's happening with the baby?"

This is the question I get from the girlies every time I see them. Mostly from Victoria. And it is so stinking adorable to me. I melt every time I hear it. :) She wants to know what is growing on the baby and what is happening in there, as she puts it. How cute is that?

Last night, the four of us were having dinner and she asked about the baby. I told her the baby can wiggle it's fingers and toes now. Gabby then asked if the baby has a bottle yet. haha! I laughed and told her that the baby doesn't need a bottle in my belly and I'm not sure how we'd get it in there anyhow. She didn't understand how the baby can eat without it and I told her that the baby gets food from me eating. She doesn't quite get the whole thing, but she's trying. :) Then she moved on to asking about highchairs and baby food and all that good stuff.

I love my girls!

Baby Bean

Here s/he is in all their glory! :) And yes, I totally realize it's only a blob...

Hey Zofran, wanna make out?

Because seriously...you are the miracle drug. I don't feel 100% normal yet, still a little funny in the tummy. But I did not throw up this morning for the first time in about 2 solid weeks. And I ate food. Normal food. Not cracker and ginger ale. I ate cinnamon raisin bagels with butter. They are still in my tummy. I've only taken Zofran since last night at 7:00 but already I feel like a totally new person. So freakin happy!

Ugh

So I really wanted to enjoy every single minute of pregnancy. I wanted to watch my expanding belly and embrace it for all it's worth. And don't get me wrong, I'm so amazed at the miracle growing inside of me...but I'm so over feeling crappy.

And I can't stop whining about it. :( Poor Rick. He has to listen to me complain. This morning as I'm puking my guts out, my nose started just dripping blood. A lot. I knew nose bleeds were normal during pregnancy (still don't know why), but I had no idea they'd hit me this soon.

I really hope this all goes away after the first trimester. I'd really like to enjoy some of this.

Big sisters

So we told the girlies this weekend that they are going to have a little sibling. :) It was quite cute actually. We got home kind of late on Friday but we couldn't wait to tell them the secret so we told them then. On our way home Rick told the girls we have a big secret for them that we'd tell them as soon as we got home. Well of course that is just torture to little girls. haha! We barely made it in the door before I thought they were going to burst from not knowing. We sat them down on the couch and gave them the adorable shirts I got them (you'd think I'd have remember to take a picture of them wearing them, right? Wrong!). Victoria's said, "I'm going to bee a big sister again" with cute picture of a bumblebee on it. And Gabby's said, "I have a secret" on the front and "This little monkey is going to be a big sister" on the back. Victoria read both of them over and we asked her if she knew what it meant. She figured it out right away and started to answer and then for some reason got spooked. So we explained it to both of them and they were pretty excited. Victoria, being the typical over-thinker/worrier/analyzer she is, started with the questions. She wanted to make sure the baby was going to have a place to sleep first of all. Gabby then suggested the baby could sleep with her. haha! And then resorted to letting the baby sleep in a bean bag chair on the floor so she wouldn't be woken up.

The next day we had to go to a wake luncheon for one of Rick's relatives. It's one of those families that always has a good time no matter what and even though everyone was sad for losing Gram, everyone was still in a great mood talking about all of the fun memories. So we had the girls wear their shirts that day to kind of let all of his cousins know. They were all very excited for us. They all kept asking the girls if they want a boy or girl. Victoria, without a doubt, wants a little sister. Gabby has decided that she wants both. haha!

We told his brother and SIL and then called my cousin and his best friend so they didn't find out from someone we had just told since we are all in the same circle. Then this weekend we are going to tell my grandma and my grandpa. We were going to have them down to my parents' house this weekend for dinner to tell them and as it turns out it's turning into a pretty big affair. My cousin and her husband are in from Cincy and since I'll want to see them and they'll want to see Grandpa, they are going to be coming down too. And it's her brother's (my cousin as well, obviously) birthday so they are coming too. And then my dad felt bad for his sister's family and my mom's sister's family for not knowing so he's also invited them. We may end up with a group of about 20 people before it's all said and done. So typical of my family :)

And we have life...

Or at least the beginning of it. Today was the first ultrasound. :) Rick met me at Panera for a quick lunch. I ate about 3 bites because I'm still not feeling well from this stupid m/s. Then we went to the hospital together. First I had to drop off my 24 hour urine sample. Ew. haha! The I had to go to the lab to have blood drawn. We waited half an hour there (good thing we went plenty early). She called me back and said I needed to pee for her. I told her I had my u/s after that and was told to have a full bladder so I'd come back after that. She drew blood and it was super easy for her to find my vein which was a bonus.

We headed over to the ultrasound area and waited about 40 minutes. It was torture! haha! Then they called us back. The tech was really nice and explained everything that she was looking at the whole time. When she was looking at the baby she said my uterus sits pretty far back and she could see a tiny flicker but couldn't get a good enough reading to measure. So she had to do an internal. It was no big deal (even though now I'm cramping like woah). She found it right away and measured and the little bean has a heartbeat of 120 which she said was really good. Of course I've googled the crap out of it since then and found that is right on. :)

So there it is. A tiny little blob that is growing into our new baby. I'm afraid to scan the photo right now since I'm at work considering I'm not planning on telling them for a little while yet. But I'll probably scan it to save a copy next week at my mom's.

We are planning on telling the girls tomorrow night. I got them super cute shirts and I can't wait to hear their reactions (I think). Gabby's shirt says, "I have a secret" on the front which is more than perfect considering pretty much everything that comes out of that child's mouth is prefaced with those four words. And the back says, "This little monkey is going to be a big sister!" Victoria's shirt says, "I'm going to bee a big sister...again" and has a cute picture of a bumble bee.

Then we are planning on telling the rest of his family next weekend when we all go to the casino for his dad's birthday. A bunch of friends have been invited so they'll all find out then. And we are going to Canton that Sunday to tell my grandparents. From that point on it's pretty much fair game for everyone to know. We debated waiting, but I want to be able to enjoy every possible minute of this fabulous pregnancy, so we are telling :)

So sick

And I feel like a total whiney baby about the whole thing. But I can't help it. So I'm pretty sure that I not only started experiencing morning sickness this weekend, I also came down with the flu. So miserable. I literally laid on the couch all weekend just sick and not happy. Last night I started feeling a lot better. I got my appetite back and started eating quite a bit again. I think that's when the flu ended. Then this morning, right back to feeling miserable again. I woke up and about 5 minutes later I was puking.

This is so not fun. I'm actually leaving work at lunch time and working from home the rest of the day. I feel bad because I did that Friday too, but I'm just so freaking sick. I'd much rather puke in my own toilet than our work toilet.

ugh...

I wanna sex you up...

Somewhere....deep down inside....I'm sure I do.

What is wrong with me?! Why do I not want to jump his bones every minute of every day like I used to? Now? Now I'd be ok with Saturday sex only. And even that sometimes just seems like too much work. Last night we were on our way home from the grocery store and I had sworn that it was only two nights ago that we had sex. He quickly reminded me that it was actually three nights ago and figured out that by me thinking about it, he wasn't going to get any. And boy was he right. I was just so tired! And I'm so bloated and fat and ugly. And my emotions are going 100 miles a minute.

So I'm going to download something here that I really need to get off my chest. Please don't flame me. I just need to put it in writing somewhere so I can get it out of my head:

This baby wasn't planned for right now. At all. I want a baby SOOO bad and I have for a long time. I can't wait to have his child and to be a mother and all that. I really mean that. And yes, I'm absolutely ecstatic that I will be a mother finally and not just "Becky" that is kind of a mom to the girls but definitely not. Then the feelings I have of wanting to mother them and make life decisions for them can actually happen because I'll have one of my own to do that with. But it wasn't supposed to happen right now. We were still going to go to Italy. And to Vegas again. And I have my sister's bachelorette party in July which I'll now be the fat, pregnant girl in a bar with all the young, drunk, hot girls. We were supposed to get married and I was supposed to look beautiful for him. I was supposed to keep my figure for a least a little while longer. We were enjoying being the couple that could randomly go away on a weekend and go out with our friends and have a great time with a few (or a lot) drinks. This is changing our lives. Completely. It's changing our relationship and our dynamic with each other. And it already has. There was no adjustment period or time to warm-up to the idea. I didn't have to cut out alcohol and caffeine because I was trying to be good to my eggies. Nope. Those little bitches decided to take matters into their own hands and drop even though the pills I was ingesting told them not to. And his stupid swimmers that couldn't get his ex-wife knocked up found their way just fine in my body.

I sound angry. I'm not angry. I'm just trying to adjust. I'm trying to understand what all is happening to my body right now and how to make it all work in my life. I'm a researcher and a planner. I read books and take notes and make plans for my life. Now, I know there is a post I wrote about a year or so ago that was all about not making plans for my life and all. But this is a little extreme, no?

I'm just so afraid of all of the unknowns right now, I think.

Mah bellah

Is huge. Nuff said? Seriously though...I used to have a VERY flat, attractive stomach. I used to be annoyed with the girls that even had a little roundness and wanted to have them hanging out. Now I'll have young bitches looking at me the same way. And yes, I'm well aware that there will be really no change at this point because I won't have a baby belly for awhile...but I guess I just want to document as much as possible along the way.

4w4d:

5w5d:

Grandma and Grandpa

We told my parents this weekend and it was the best feeling ever. :)

Friday night we got in kinda late but the girls were super hyped up so they played wii with Halley and Ben for a bit. Rick and I played cards with my parents and we all had a good time. My dad kept commenting how I looked pale and tired. I told him I just had a headache and it was a long week at work. He would know soon enough ;) So then we decided it was time for the girlies to go to bed so my sister took them down to her room with her (they were having a sleepover). Well my dad managed to disappear at that time too. He went down to do some laundry. So we just waited for him to come up and in the mean time my brother filled in for him at pinochle. So I went out to the front hallway to grab the gift we gave them. Very clearly it was a bottle of wine. I told Mom is was for helping us move. She decided (thank goodness) to wait until my dad came back up to open it with him. So he came up and then opened the gift. He pulled out the bottle of wine and they both said thanks. He was going to put it away when I told him there was something else in there. So he pulled out the little package I had wrapped separately. Jokingly he opened it and hid it from my mom being able to see it like he does all the time. Well she asked what it was and he told her it was a teething ring. They both looked pretty confused so I told them that we got them a gift so that they would have something there for when the baby comes to visit with us. It took about a half a second until my mom got it. Then the tears swelled up. My brother told me to shut up. haha! And my dad was so excited too. So we talked about it for a little while and I explained that we weren't telling the girls quite yet until I was a little further along. So then Mom and I proceeded to stay up another 2 hours and talk about everything. It felt so good. I was so excited and she just couldn't believe it. :)

So Saturday my mom, sister and I all went shopping. We were looking for a dress for my mom for Halley's wedding and I, obviously, needed some bigger pants for this bloated belly. We also decided to browse wedding dresses for me. And that was the plan. So we got in the store and found a few dresses for my mom and then there were some wedding dresses right there that I liked. So Halley started looking through them for me and I made a comment about them fitting now but with my ever-growing belly I wasn't sure what size I'd really need. She looked and me and kind laughed it off because she's always teasing me that I'm going to get pregnant. And I looked at her and said, "No, really this time." And there was a huge smile that came across her face. :)

The torturous part was having to spend the evening at my Grandpa's house. Not being able to tell him yet was so hard. He is going to be so excited. What made it worse is that my Grandma was even there too. So both grandparents present at the same time and I couldn't spill the beans.

So Sunday we told Rick's parents. The girls were back in their room playing and us grownups were all eating dinner together. Rick asked them how they felt about being grandparents again. Of course they said that'd be great kind of hesitantly looking between the two of us. Of course then I had a huge grin on my face so they clearly knew. His mom was cute and asked if this is what we wanted. haha! I can't say it wasn't an honest question. But of course we do!!!

So needless to say it was a fabulous weekend!