So much has changed in the last five years of life it's amazing. I've been looking back quite a bit simply because Wednesday will mark the third year anniversary of my wedding.
5 years ago I was getting engaged in 5 days. Funny thing is I knew something was up because I had read an email between Ryan and my mom about proposal ideas. But I had no idea when for sure it was coming or how. He and I had gotten into an argument about being at that next step. We felt like no one was taking us as seriously as we felt about each other. We knew we loved each other differently than we ever felt about anyone. We could see having children together and growing old side-by-side. Five short days later, he proposed under a tree, in the park, in the rain. It was romantic and cute and not at all the way I ever imagined it - in the best possible way ever.
4 years ago I finished up my junior year of college and was excitedly planning my wedding. I was working a lot that summer at Enterprise and made some great friends and had an overall great time.
3 years ago, on this date, I started a brand new job a month after I graduated. Everything for the wedding was wrapped up and ready to go. We had a very rough patch a few months back in October. I remember sitting in the parking lot of GFS with my mom the night I started my new job talking to her about my future. Letting her know how apprehensive I was about everything and how I was afraid this was more than just cold feet. She told me that only I know how my heart feels but I should trust my instincts and believe in myself. That if there was ever a time to change your mind about anything, now was it. I pushed my thoughts aside and chalked it up to so many changes in a short amount of time. Five days later, I walked down the aisle to the man of my dreams. The person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.
2 years ago things were completely different from what I thought they would be. Our marriage was at a horrible point. We had both cheated on each other at that point, were arguing all the time and were both slowly becoming miserable. There was a lot of verbal abuse and I was emotionally drained from head to toe. I was sinking into a very deep depression and questioned my reason for even living. I held it together in front of the outside world though. And even though my mom knew something was up, she reluctantly believed the smile on my face.
1 year ago I'd completely had it. He said I made his life a living hell and thought I was completely worthless. My mom was in on what was happening by now but his parents weren't. I was supposed to be the bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding four days after our two year anniversary and the night before is when our largest fight ever happened. Ryan held a butcher knife to me and threatened to kill me and/or him. I called his parents over to our house because I knew I couldn't do it on my own anymore. We were up almost all night trying to talk it out. I was completely exhausted for the wedding the next day and could barely focus on anything. Ryan came to the wedding but it only ended up in a fight after anyhow. That was the day I decided I was moving out after our next fight. And I did. I moved in with my parents. It was the best decision I'd made in my entire life. I decided pretty early on that it would take a pretty big miracle for me to go back. I was so scarred and damaged at that point I don't think I could have ever trusted him again the way I would need to. We went to come marriage counseling but the entire time I realized that I was a better person without him. I felt like myself again for the first time in a very long time and I liked that person. We filed for and were granted divorce by February.
Today - I'm happy. Honestly happy. There are still days I'm very sad about it. Less about losing Ryan and more about losing the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I had a plan, I had dreams, I had worked so hard for something that I'll never have with him. I truly loved him and loved the lives we were planning together. I'm sad that I promised my life to a person that didn't want it. But now I have a wide open future of amazing things to come. I have confidence that some day I'll find someone that loves me so deeply that it will amaze me. And I can't wait to share that with them.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Pseudo Mom
Sounds kinda like a superhero, doesn't it? Well, I could have used superhero strength this weekend. haha!
Rick brought the kids in for the weekend. I had a blast, but I was (and kinda still am) exhausted from my head to my toes. Here's the weekend re-cap with all of the highlights :)
Friday - He got in town with the kiddos about 11:00. They were completely zonked out in the back seat (kinda the plan) so I helped carry them up. My couch pulls out into one of those futon types of things and it was perfect for them. We pulled that out and put their sleeping bags down and they were good to go. He and I crawled in bed and passed out. About 2:30am I heard Gabby crying so I sent Rick out and basically she just woke up and didn't know where she was. He got her back to sleep so then she was good.
Saturday - The kids woke us up by coming and climbing in bed with us. We all laid there for a bit (well, Gabby jumped on us until Victoria discovered my shoe collection and then it was good-bye organization). I got ready for work and Rick cooked us all breakfast. It was nice to have breakfast ready for me in the morning :) I headed off to work and he got the girls bathed and then went to Tuscora Park and the McKinley Monument with them. After my wedding I got home about 10:00 and they were in the pajamas and anxiously awaiting my arrival. Apparently the girls had been asking when I'd get home all day. The bad thing is when I walked in the door it was definitely toasty in there. Turns out my air conditioner broke. Seriously, worst timing ever. So I made a call to my landlord but of course it was on a holiday weekend. haha! Oh well, we survived anyhow! So we put a movie in for the girls and sat at the kitchen table and just talked and had some wine. It was a really great night actually. I had a super long day at work and I was exhausted so it was nice to come home and be able to unwind like that.
Sunday - Well, about 5am Sunday morning two kiddos ended up in bed with us. So not cool on a full size bed. haha! Yes, they are little peanuts but for some reason peanuts decided sleeping sideways on the bed was much better. Therefore, I had about 2 inches of space. I was hanging on for dear life. haha! But then we all got up, Rick made breakfast again (love it!), we got the girls ready and headed to my parent's house. I was UBER nervous about my dad's reaction to the girls. He can be kind of an old man about things sometimes and was super strict with us growing up. I know Gabby and Victoria and I know they don't exactly behave like we had to. When we got there we helped my dad get the steps in the pool and then the girls were itching to go in. My dad was all crazy about when they were allowed in the pool and not and all that good stuff. But the pool was super cold anyhow so they didn't stay in a long time. So we headed back in the house to play Wii and board games and such. Rick and Gabby took a snooze on the couch while I taught Victoria some new games. Grandpa and Aunt Geri came down and we had a good time. At one point Gabby wanted to play with some toys. Well considering there are absolutely no kids left in the family, the toy department is a little lacking at my parent's house. But I knew we had two of the foam disc shooters so I dug those out and they had a blast. At one point I was in the kitchen with Mom and Rick and all I could hear was Gabby giggling from the front room. I peeked my head in there to see my dad playing fetch with Gabby. It was the funniest thing I had seen in a long time. It seriously warmed my heart. It was like watching me play with my grandpa when I was her age and I loved it. They were both laughing and genuinely having a great time. Gabby and I made macaroni and cheese together and we were sitting in the dining room alone eating it. She needed a napkin so I got up to get her one and as I was walking back in she looked straight at me and said, "I really like you" in the most genuine way possible. I completely melted right then and there. Later on in the evening we all sat down in the family room to watch the Cavs and the girls were getting sleepy and grumpy so we headed home at half-time. We tucked them in and then crashed too.
Monday - Gabby crawled into our bed about 8 and I was again losing real estate so I went and cuddled up with Victoria for an hour or so. I got up and started breakfast and then Gabby and Rick got up too. We ate breakfast, got baths and headed to the Akron Zoo. It was a good time. That is the absolute perfect size zoo for that age. Just big enough and a decent enough range of animals. After that we headed to my aunt's house for a cookout and more swimming. We swam for about 4 hours and had a blast laughing and splashing. They really are good girls. They listen to me and really do like me. I was really sad when it came time for them to leave. But I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that said, "Whew!" haha! And sat down and about passed out. They didn't even make it to the highway before they were both completely out. But as soon as they woke up, they asked when they could come back. I can honestly say I already miss them. They are so sweet and so silly.
Totally falling in love with the whole family ;)
Rick brought the kids in for the weekend. I had a blast, but I was (and kinda still am) exhausted from my head to my toes. Here's the weekend re-cap with all of the highlights :)
Friday - He got in town with the kiddos about 11:00. They were completely zonked out in the back seat (kinda the plan) so I helped carry them up. My couch pulls out into one of those futon types of things and it was perfect for them. We pulled that out and put their sleeping bags down and they were good to go. He and I crawled in bed and passed out. About 2:30am I heard Gabby crying so I sent Rick out and basically she just woke up and didn't know where she was. He got her back to sleep so then she was good.
Saturday - The kids woke us up by coming and climbing in bed with us. We all laid there for a bit (well, Gabby jumped on us until Victoria discovered my shoe collection and then it was good-bye organization). I got ready for work and Rick cooked us all breakfast. It was nice to have breakfast ready for me in the morning :) I headed off to work and he got the girls bathed and then went to Tuscora Park and the McKinley Monument with them. After my wedding I got home about 10:00 and they were in the pajamas and anxiously awaiting my arrival. Apparently the girls had been asking when I'd get home all day. The bad thing is when I walked in the door it was definitely toasty in there. Turns out my air conditioner broke. Seriously, worst timing ever. So I made a call to my landlord but of course it was on a holiday weekend. haha! Oh well, we survived anyhow! So we put a movie in for the girls and sat at the kitchen table and just talked and had some wine. It was a really great night actually. I had a super long day at work and I was exhausted so it was nice to come home and be able to unwind like that.
Sunday - Well, about 5am Sunday morning two kiddos ended up in bed with us. So not cool on a full size bed. haha! Yes, they are little peanuts but for some reason peanuts decided sleeping sideways on the bed was much better. Therefore, I had about 2 inches of space. I was hanging on for dear life. haha! But then we all got up, Rick made breakfast again (love it!), we got the girls ready and headed to my parent's house. I was UBER nervous about my dad's reaction to the girls. He can be kind of an old man about things sometimes and was super strict with us growing up. I know Gabby and Victoria and I know they don't exactly behave like we had to. When we got there we helped my dad get the steps in the pool and then the girls were itching to go in. My dad was all crazy about when they were allowed in the pool and not and all that good stuff. But the pool was super cold anyhow so they didn't stay in a long time. So we headed back in the house to play Wii and board games and such. Rick and Gabby took a snooze on the couch while I taught Victoria some new games. Grandpa and Aunt Geri came down and we had a good time. At one point Gabby wanted to play with some toys. Well considering there are absolutely no kids left in the family, the toy department is a little lacking at my parent's house. But I knew we had two of the foam disc shooters so I dug those out and they had a blast. At one point I was in the kitchen with Mom and Rick and all I could hear was Gabby giggling from the front room. I peeked my head in there to see my dad playing fetch with Gabby. It was the funniest thing I had seen in a long time. It seriously warmed my heart. It was like watching me play with my grandpa when I was her age and I loved it. They were both laughing and genuinely having a great time. Gabby and I made macaroni and cheese together and we were sitting in the dining room alone eating it. She needed a napkin so I got up to get her one and as I was walking back in she looked straight at me and said, "I really like you" in the most genuine way possible. I completely melted right then and there. Later on in the evening we all sat down in the family room to watch the Cavs and the girls were getting sleepy and grumpy so we headed home at half-time. We tucked them in and then crashed too.
Monday - Gabby crawled into our bed about 8 and I was again losing real estate so I went and cuddled up with Victoria for an hour or so. I got up and started breakfast and then Gabby and Rick got up too. We ate breakfast, got baths and headed to the Akron Zoo. It was a good time. That is the absolute perfect size zoo for that age. Just big enough and a decent enough range of animals. After that we headed to my aunt's house for a cookout and more swimming. We swam for about 4 hours and had a blast laughing and splashing. They really are good girls. They listen to me and really do like me. I was really sad when it came time for them to leave. But I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that said, "Whew!" haha! And sat down and about passed out. They didn't even make it to the highway before they were both completely out. But as soon as they woke up, they asked when they could come back. I can honestly say I already miss them. They are so sweet and so silly.
Totally falling in love with the whole family ;)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Update on life
OK, so I know I'm a shitty blogger. But I've been busy living life and all. So let's do a random update on what's been going on:
- Busy time is approaching at work. I'm actually really excited because I love crazy wedding season. It won't really get all that too crazy until the last weekend in July. But I've got 6 weddings in the next few weeks that will keep me pretty busy. Which means I'll stop sitting on my ass so much and get moving more. Not like I sit on my ass all that much now, but I feel like it's a lot compared to what it was a year ago. haha!
- Speaking of my ass - it's huge. Well, not huge exactly. But I feel fat and gross. My boobs are totally growing too. I'm talking a full cup size in the past month or so. Not exactly sure why. And I'm not exactly a fan of it. They are UBER sore all the fucking time and I'm definitely over it!
- Boys are stupid. Seriously. All of them. No exceptions. Not all are stupid all the time. But all are stupid at some point in time. Example? This weekend I had one of them go through my text messages. Yep, that's right. He looked through my phone. Fucker. I'm still not done being pissed about that one.
- While I do enjoy the whole dating thing, I'm not so much a fan of the whole dating thing. I'm tired of it by now.
- There's quite a bit I'd like to post about work, but I'll keep that to myself for now. And no, there is no big news but I don't really feel like pulling a Dooce or anything.
- My allergies have been miserable. And on top of that, my eczema has been ridiculous too. My face is icky and I hate it :( My skin is red and scaly, my eyes are watery, my nose is runny and sneezy, I'm just plain miserable.
- There are some days I want absolutely nothing to do after work. And that never happens. I always have plans to do something. I should stop complaining because that means I have friends and family that want to spend time with me. But sometimes, I just wanna chill and not have to deal with anyone. Isn't that why I have an apartment by myself anyhow?
- Busy time is approaching at work. I'm actually really excited because I love crazy wedding season. It won't really get all that too crazy until the last weekend in July. But I've got 6 weddings in the next few weeks that will keep me pretty busy. Which means I'll stop sitting on my ass so much and get moving more. Not like I sit on my ass all that much now, but I feel like it's a lot compared to what it was a year ago. haha!
- Speaking of my ass - it's huge. Well, not huge exactly. But I feel fat and gross. My boobs are totally growing too. I'm talking a full cup size in the past month or so. Not exactly sure why. And I'm not exactly a fan of it. They are UBER sore all the fucking time and I'm definitely over it!
- Boys are stupid. Seriously. All of them. No exceptions. Not all are stupid all the time. But all are stupid at some point in time. Example? This weekend I had one of them go through my text messages. Yep, that's right. He looked through my phone. Fucker. I'm still not done being pissed about that one.
- While I do enjoy the whole dating thing, I'm not so much a fan of the whole dating thing. I'm tired of it by now.
- There's quite a bit I'd like to post about work, but I'll keep that to myself for now. And no, there is no big news but I don't really feel like pulling a Dooce or anything.
- My allergies have been miserable. And on top of that, my eczema has been ridiculous too. My face is icky and I hate it :( My skin is red and scaly, my eyes are watery, my nose is runny and sneezy, I'm just plain miserable.
- There are some days I want absolutely nothing to do after work. And that never happens. I always have plans to do something. I should stop complaining because that means I have friends and family that want to spend time with me. But sometimes, I just wanna chill and not have to deal with anyone. Isn't that why I have an apartment by myself anyhow?
Friday, May 8, 2009
Open letter to anyone with a penis that may potentially think you could possibly some day have interest in dating me:
Dear Boys,
If you could all please stop liking me so much, my life would be much easier. I'm not saying I'm not flattered that you think I'm attractive and that you enjoy my company and all. But I'm perfectly ok with you only enjoying my friendship. And trust me, there is probably something about me that you will absolutely hate given time. I'm really not that great most of the time. I have gross habits like picking scabs on my head and eczema that covers my body and makes me all icky and itchy. I get really cranky when things don't go my way. Please, just be my friend.
Thank you,
The Ungrateful Bitch
If you could all please stop liking me so much, my life would be much easier. I'm not saying I'm not flattered that you think I'm attractive and that you enjoy my company and all. But I'm perfectly ok with you only enjoying my friendship. And trust me, there is probably something about me that you will absolutely hate given time. I'm really not that great most of the time. I have gross habits like picking scabs on my head and eczema that covers my body and makes me all icky and itchy. I get really cranky when things don't go my way. Please, just be my friend.
Thank you,
The Ungrateful Bitch
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
In response...
Thanks so much for your sweet comments to my below post. It really is nice to get some feedback sometimes on certain things.
Mombi asked what I feel so apprehensive about. Quite honestly, I'm most afraid of a few things:
1 - That people will think I've moved on too quickly and that I never entered into my marriage seriously enough and I should have mourned that longer.
2 - What if I really am a shitty girlfriend/wife? Why would I subject someone else to that?
3 - Do I really want a boyfriend right now? Sure I want to be with someone that I'm happy with, but can I give someone enough of myself between work and family that it would be fair to them?
Mombi asked what I feel so apprehensive about. Quite honestly, I'm most afraid of a few things:
1 - That people will think I've moved on too quickly and that I never entered into my marriage seriously enough and I should have mourned that longer.
2 - What if I really am a shitty girlfriend/wife? Why would I subject someone else to that?
3 - Do I really want a boyfriend right now? Sure I want to be with someone that I'm happy with, but can I give someone enough of myself between work and family that it would be fair to them?
Thursday, April 9, 2009
How soon is too soon?
So this post could be relatively controversial and that's ok. I know I've stated it before, but I started this for me to get my thoughts and feelings out and no one is forced to read it.
So I'm not sure how soon is too soon for a new "relationship". Of course I don't want to rush anything for myself but I also don't feel that hurt anymore from everything that happened with the divorce. I think a lot of that is the fact that I know I was emotionally done long before it was legally done. I don't want to be frowned upon by anyone (which I know is inevitable and I know I shouldn't care but I always have and I probably always will).
The funniest thing that I learned at a relatively young age is that a lot of the time you find what you are looking for as soon as you stop looking. I've always been pretty laid back about finding someone and I've always had people interested in me (that's not trying to sound self-centered...it's just being honest). I've always been told that I'm a great catch because I'm pretty, funny and fun to hang around. It's a compliment and a very nice thing for people to say to me. But I really think a lot of that is just because who you meet is who I am. I'm not a fake person and I genuinely care for life and all of the people involved in mine.
All of that is meant to preface what I'm about to say:
I've met someone that is a great person. He's funny and nice and very sweet to me. I know I've mentioned him on here before. We were actually set up. My cousin/best friend is dating Kevin who is best friends with Rick. They thought we'd hit it off or at least have great sex when Rick was in town. haha!
I met him at the end of January. Rick lives in Pittsburgh (where Kevin is from also) and came in town to spend the weekend with Nicki and Kevin. Saturday night after work I headed up there and the four of us went to dinner. Quite honestly, Nicki and Kevin thought we'd hit it off, but they were mostly just helping us both get a little ass. We all four had a great time out and um, Rick and I definitely had a great time later that night. (What can I say, I can be a bit of a whore, I guess...don't judge! haha!)
Anyhow, I almost didn't even go that night. I had options of alternative plans and I knew this guy was 10 years older than me. But I knew I had nothing to lose and knew I'd at least have a great time with Nicki and Kevin. So I went. When I met Rick I was pleasantly surprised. He's not exactly the kind of guy I'd normally go for, but I think he's really attractive. We went to Hibachi Japan and as we were all sitting there talking the topic of counseling came up. I knew Rick was divorced so I made a joke about how I hoped he didn't have to go to counseling and suffer through some of the sessions like I did and his response? "I wanted to, for the kids' sake, but she wasn't interested." Holy fuck. Did he just say kids?!?! The entire rest of the night I thought about how I had just been set up with a 35 year old guy with two kids. haha! All I could hope was that the sex was completely worth it.
We had a complete blast that night though. I laughed so hard at Kevin and Rick together and of course at the comedy club later. When we went home I had my Steeler's Fan Initiation (don't ask) and Rick and I had some really great conversations. We were awake most of the night and really found out a lot about each other. In the morning he was sweet and brought me coffee and then all day the four of us lounged and watched movies and talked and laughed and napped.
Rick and I both stayed again Sunday night and then he left early Monday morning to make it to work on time. I talked to Nicki later that day and she said that Rick asked Kevin for my number (yeah, we totally didn't even exchange numbers! haha). I told her that I'd have her give him mine so the ball can be in his court so there is no pressure for him. The crazy thing? He called me that night. We talked for about 2 hours and everything was completely easy and normal.
Since then we've seen each other a couple more times and talked endless hours. He is genuinely someone that I love having in my life. When I'm with him I'm happy. Just happy. Of course there is some giddiness but it's more than just that. I'm myself and we tell each other absolutely everything. There are no secrets or worrying what the other one will think.
I honestly think that both of us being divorced is something that helps that though. We have both been in failed marriages that truly broke our hearts. Neither of us were perfect and we both know there were things we'd change about ourselves as well as how the relationship was handled.
The kid thing? Scares me a bit. I've actually already met the girls and they are freaking adorable. They are 6 and 3 and really like me as well. It's not that. It's actually more about if I want my own kids or not. Strangely enough, Rick and I have talked about it. Yes, I realize we've known each other less than 3 months, but again this is the open converstaion thing where we talk about everything. I'm not sure if I'd be ok with not having kids of my own or if I'd want to have Victoria and Gabby have a half sibling. He is actually open to the idea of having more kids so it'd be more about what I want. Anyhow, that part of things is actually relatively minor right now. Even though it's definitely an important thing if I'm wanting to be in a relationship with a person.
I'm not saying I'm going to go out and marry this man tomorrow. But I can tell you that I thoroughly enjoy spending time with him and who I am when I'm with him. He actually encourages me to have friends and chase my dreams instead of holding me back telling me I can't do it.
So how soon is too soon? I know I'm the only one that will know for sure...but I guess just some other opinions would be ok with me.
So I'm not sure how soon is too soon for a new "relationship". Of course I don't want to rush anything for myself but I also don't feel that hurt anymore from everything that happened with the divorce. I think a lot of that is the fact that I know I was emotionally done long before it was legally done. I don't want to be frowned upon by anyone (which I know is inevitable and I know I shouldn't care but I always have and I probably always will).
The funniest thing that I learned at a relatively young age is that a lot of the time you find what you are looking for as soon as you stop looking. I've always been pretty laid back about finding someone and I've always had people interested in me (that's not trying to sound self-centered...it's just being honest). I've always been told that I'm a great catch because I'm pretty, funny and fun to hang around. It's a compliment and a very nice thing for people to say to me. But I really think a lot of that is just because who you meet is who I am. I'm not a fake person and I genuinely care for life and all of the people involved in mine.
All of that is meant to preface what I'm about to say:
I've met someone that is a great person. He's funny and nice and very sweet to me. I know I've mentioned him on here before. We were actually set up. My cousin/best friend is dating Kevin who is best friends with Rick. They thought we'd hit it off or at least have great sex when Rick was in town. haha!
I met him at the end of January. Rick lives in Pittsburgh (where Kevin is from also) and came in town to spend the weekend with Nicki and Kevin. Saturday night after work I headed up there and the four of us went to dinner. Quite honestly, Nicki and Kevin thought we'd hit it off, but they were mostly just helping us both get a little ass. We all four had a great time out and um, Rick and I definitely had a great time later that night. (What can I say, I can be a bit of a whore, I guess...don't judge! haha!)
Anyhow, I almost didn't even go that night. I had options of alternative plans and I knew this guy was 10 years older than me. But I knew I had nothing to lose and knew I'd at least have a great time with Nicki and Kevin. So I went. When I met Rick I was pleasantly surprised. He's not exactly the kind of guy I'd normally go for, but I think he's really attractive. We went to Hibachi Japan and as we were all sitting there talking the topic of counseling came up. I knew Rick was divorced so I made a joke about how I hoped he didn't have to go to counseling and suffer through some of the sessions like I did and his response? "I wanted to, for the kids' sake, but she wasn't interested." Holy fuck. Did he just say kids?!?! The entire rest of the night I thought about how I had just been set up with a 35 year old guy with two kids. haha! All I could hope was that the sex was completely worth it.
We had a complete blast that night though. I laughed so hard at Kevin and Rick together and of course at the comedy club later. When we went home I had my Steeler's Fan Initiation (don't ask) and Rick and I had some really great conversations. We were awake most of the night and really found out a lot about each other. In the morning he was sweet and brought me coffee and then all day the four of us lounged and watched movies and talked and laughed and napped.
Rick and I both stayed again Sunday night and then he left early Monday morning to make it to work on time. I talked to Nicki later that day and she said that Rick asked Kevin for my number (yeah, we totally didn't even exchange numbers! haha). I told her that I'd have her give him mine so the ball can be in his court so there is no pressure for him. The crazy thing? He called me that night. We talked for about 2 hours and everything was completely easy and normal.
Since then we've seen each other a couple more times and talked endless hours. He is genuinely someone that I love having in my life. When I'm with him I'm happy. Just happy. Of course there is some giddiness but it's more than just that. I'm myself and we tell each other absolutely everything. There are no secrets or worrying what the other one will think.
I honestly think that both of us being divorced is something that helps that though. We have both been in failed marriages that truly broke our hearts. Neither of us were perfect and we both know there were things we'd change about ourselves as well as how the relationship was handled.
The kid thing? Scares me a bit. I've actually already met the girls and they are freaking adorable. They are 6 and 3 and really like me as well. It's not that. It's actually more about if I want my own kids or not. Strangely enough, Rick and I have talked about it. Yes, I realize we've known each other less than 3 months, but again this is the open converstaion thing where we talk about everything. I'm not sure if I'd be ok with not having kids of my own or if I'd want to have Victoria and Gabby have a half sibling. He is actually open to the idea of having more kids so it'd be more about what I want. Anyhow, that part of things is actually relatively minor right now. Even though it's definitely an important thing if I'm wanting to be in a relationship with a person.
I'm not saying I'm going to go out and marry this man tomorrow. But I can tell you that I thoroughly enjoy spending time with him and who I am when I'm with him. He actually encourages me to have friends and chase my dreams instead of holding me back telling me I can't do it.
So how soon is too soon? I know I'm the only one that will know for sure...but I guess just some other opinions would be ok with me.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
'You smell delicious'
Can I just tell you how stupid guys are sometimes? haha! I was out with friends last Friday night and this group of guys started hitting on us. They were slightly intoxicated but were buying us drinks, so who were we to refuse? I'm all about playing the game. haha! Buy me drinks, feel free to flirt and think you are getting somewhere, then I'll move on. Evil? Yes. Genius? Of course! Anyhow, so the guy that was hitting on me walked over and started introducing himself and then sniffed me. Just up and took a big old whif. What the fuck, buddy? I told him that was completely creepy but he did it again. Like it was a compliment to keep inhaling my smell. He kept randomly stopping his sentence and saying, "You smell delicious" or "Seriously, what perfume are you wearing?"
There is really no point of this story other than when I was telling one of my guy friends he completely honestly went, "That isn't a compliment for a girl? Maybe I shouldn't do that" hahaha! He was dead fucking serious too! Smelling nice is a compliment...getting sniffed up one side and down another on the other hand, is what we females call skin-crawling-creepy.
There is really no point of this story other than when I was telling one of my guy friends he completely honestly went, "That isn't a compliment for a girl? Maybe I shouldn't do that" hahaha! He was dead fucking serious too! Smelling nice is a compliment...getting sniffed up one side and down another on the other hand, is what we females call skin-crawling-creepy.
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