Check-in

So not a lot and a whole lot has been going on the past few weeks of this pregnancy. I'm still sicker than sick. Well, without my Zofran I would be anyhow. But even with this drug I'm still feeling pretty sick a good majority of the time. My hormones have been very out of whack. Much more than I ever thought they'd be. And I'm having a hard time balancing them out again. I've been dealing with a pretty serious case of depression also. Sometimes it's hard to see when you are in the middle of it, but I know that's absolutely what I've been going through. Now that the sunshine is out and a lot of the snow is melting away, I'm feeling much better already. Still not normal, but I don't expect to feel "normal" for quite some time now. haha! My boobs are HUGE! Seriously! haha! I got measured this weekend and I'm up to a 34D. That's two cup sizes up from where I used to be. That's ridiculous!! I'm still pretty bloated, but it hasn't been crazy. I can actually fit into my normal jeans, but they are definitely tight. And tight jeans on an already icky belly does not help the morning sickness. So I'm now rocking the maternity jeans. haha! That's right, at 10w5d I'm rocking the maternity jeans. Oh well, could be worse I suppose. :)

The weight of the world

I've always carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. I always take everything personal and strive to make everyone happy at every moment possible. It's what I do. I worry about what other people think, how they feel, if they are happy and I stress about it to no end. Even if I know there is not a single thing I can do to change that feeling/situation at that point. Now that I'm pregnant, I seem to do this 100 times more than I ever used to. Which is SO not healthy for me. But I don't know how to stop it.

Almost an automatic response I've been getting from people as soon as they find out we are expecting is when we are getting married. I'm so frustrated and upset and hurt by this statement. Especially the people that are saying it. My grandma had me in tears over it. (The situation has since been resolved and she was made aware of her mean words. But no less, they hurt.) People that know me and people that don't.

There are marriages that are entered and fail on a regular basis because of a pregnancy. Why would anyone wish that on us. And what makes it right or wrong to have to be married in order to have a baby?

We are planning to get married and we were planning on it long before we found out we were expecting. But the fact that people are so rude about it really upsets me. It also worries me that I've made a comment to someone unknowingly at some point.

I've decided to be a bitch about it too. When someone asks if we are planning to get married, I'm going to tell them no that I prefer to raise a bastard child. Think that will shut them up?

"Becky, what's happening with the baby?"

This is the question I get from the girlies every time I see them. Mostly from Victoria. And it is so stinking adorable to me. I melt every time I hear it. :) She wants to know what is growing on the baby and what is happening in there, as she puts it. How cute is that?

Last night, the four of us were having dinner and she asked about the baby. I told her the baby can wiggle it's fingers and toes now. Gabby then asked if the baby has a bottle yet. haha! I laughed and told her that the baby doesn't need a bottle in my belly and I'm not sure how we'd get it in there anyhow. She didn't understand how the baby can eat without it and I told her that the baby gets food from me eating. She doesn't quite get the whole thing, but she's trying. :) Then she moved on to asking about highchairs and baby food and all that good stuff.

I love my girls!

Baby Bean

Here s/he is in all their glory! :) And yes, I totally realize it's only a blob...

Hey Zofran, wanna make out?

Because seriously...you are the miracle drug. I don't feel 100% normal yet, still a little funny in the tummy. But I did not throw up this morning for the first time in about 2 solid weeks. And I ate food. Normal food. Not cracker and ginger ale. I ate cinnamon raisin bagels with butter. They are still in my tummy. I've only taken Zofran since last night at 7:00 but already I feel like a totally new person. So freakin happy!

Ugh

So I really wanted to enjoy every single minute of pregnancy. I wanted to watch my expanding belly and embrace it for all it's worth. And don't get me wrong, I'm so amazed at the miracle growing inside of me...but I'm so over feeling crappy.

And I can't stop whining about it. :( Poor Rick. He has to listen to me complain. This morning as I'm puking my guts out, my nose started just dripping blood. A lot. I knew nose bleeds were normal during pregnancy (still don't know why), but I had no idea they'd hit me this soon.

I really hope this all goes away after the first trimester. I'd really like to enjoy some of this.

Big sisters

So we told the girlies this weekend that they are going to have a little sibling. :) It was quite cute actually. We got home kind of late on Friday but we couldn't wait to tell them the secret so we told them then. On our way home Rick told the girls we have a big secret for them that we'd tell them as soon as we got home. Well of course that is just torture to little girls. haha! We barely made it in the door before I thought they were going to burst from not knowing. We sat them down on the couch and gave them the adorable shirts I got them (you'd think I'd have remember to take a picture of them wearing them, right? Wrong!). Victoria's said, "I'm going to bee a big sister again" with cute picture of a bumblebee on it. And Gabby's said, "I have a secret" on the front and "This little monkey is going to be a big sister" on the back. Victoria read both of them over and we asked her if she knew what it meant. She figured it out right away and started to answer and then for some reason got spooked. So we explained it to both of them and they were pretty excited. Victoria, being the typical over-thinker/worrier/analyzer she is, started with the questions. She wanted to make sure the baby was going to have a place to sleep first of all. Gabby then suggested the baby could sleep with her. haha! And then resorted to letting the baby sleep in a bean bag chair on the floor so she wouldn't be woken up.

The next day we had to go to a wake luncheon for one of Rick's relatives. It's one of those families that always has a good time no matter what and even though everyone was sad for losing Gram, everyone was still in a great mood talking about all of the fun memories. So we had the girls wear their shirts that day to kind of let all of his cousins know. They were all very excited for us. They all kept asking the girls if they want a boy or girl. Victoria, without a doubt, wants a little sister. Gabby has decided that she wants both. haha!

We told his brother and SIL and then called my cousin and his best friend so they didn't find out from someone we had just told since we are all in the same circle. Then this weekend we are going to tell my grandma and my grandpa. We were going to have them down to my parents' house this weekend for dinner to tell them and as it turns out it's turning into a pretty big affair. My cousin and her husband are in from Cincy and since I'll want to see them and they'll want to see Grandpa, they are going to be coming down too. And it's her brother's (my cousin as well, obviously) birthday so they are coming too. And then my dad felt bad for his sister's family and my mom's sister's family for not knowing so he's also invited them. We may end up with a group of about 20 people before it's all said and done. So typical of my family :)