How's his life?

That's the thought that went through my mind a million times yesterday. It was the date of our three year anniversary. There are days that Ryan doesn't even cross my mind anymore. Yesterday, he's all I could think about. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish him to be completely miserable and lonely all day yesterday. I knew he had to go home to the house that used to be ours and sleep in the bed we used to share. I hope it was horrible and painful and hurtful for him. I honestly do. And if that makes me a bad person, I don't care. There were so many thoughts that went through my head on a continuous loop all day.

Did he wake up thinking about what day it was? Like I did.
Did he reflect on the past five years and the changes that happened? Like I did.
Did he wonder what life would have been like right now if he'd have listened to me when I said I would leave if he didn't change? Like I did.
Did he stay at work late to avoid having to go home? Like I did.
Did he sit at home eating dinner alone? Like I did.
Did he find something to do, anything to do, not to have to spend the evening all by himself? Like I did.
Did he avoid crawling into bed knowing I wouldn't be there beside him ever again? Like I did.
Did he pray to God to make next year much less painful? Like I did.
Did he cry himself to sleep? Like I did.
Did he promise himself to never admit any of the feelings he felt that day to me (or to anyone else for that matter) no matter what? Like I did.