I'm happy. Completely and ridiculously happy. So why do I have a problem knowing that Ryan is in a relationship? Honestly! Get over yourself, Becky! My cousin saw him out with his g/f (she has no idea who the girl was) at a restaurant with his parents. I then decided to search for him on facebook. He had never been on there before so I figured he still wouldn't be. But, I was wrong. I searched through his friends and figured out who it was right away. It's a girl he went to at least college with. And I'm pretty sure high school. She's not nearly as hot as me so that's good, right? Why does it bother me so much? Why do I want to know so much about it when all it does is irk me? I don't want him at all. Not in the absolute least. I guess I still want him to want me though. As dumb as that sounds. I still want him to miss what he had with me. And now that he's moved on, I'm sure he doesn't. I think that's what bothers me the most. But why???
ETA....
I just remembered how I knew her name sounded familiar. They didn't go to college together. They went to high school together. It was his high school sweetheart. We looked through old yearbooks one time when we were dating and his dad was teasing him with her name saying how much Ryan loved her. Fuck me caring.
1 comment:
Sometimes it just doesn't matter. Even after I was married, I still thoght about my ex bf A LOT. A TON TOO MUCH. I didn't want to be with him, but the curiosity was killing me. Then he had a baby with his wife. That bugged the crap out of me. I was happily married. It shouldn't have, but it did. But now, I'm all over it. You'll get there. It'll just take time.
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