So something that never really occured to me before but I guess it's something I can/should think about is my name. For 22 years I was a Foringer and it was so extrememly hard to not be one anymore when I got married. But Becky Brown was soo much easier and it really wasn't *that* big of a deal. But what about now?
Honestly, I didn't even think about changing my name back until one of my friends suggested it. Mostly it was just to shake things up with our fellow church mates. (We were always the rebels that liked making all of their heads roll. :insert evil laugh here:) But she really got me thinking about it.
No one at work knows me as Becky F. Only Becky Brown. And to the really cool ones, Downtown Becky Brown. haha! Actually, for all legal purposes I'm still Becky F. (Well, Rebeca actually but let's not do that, I'll think I'm in trouble with my mother)
I can't even tell you how much Brown is (or F-as in Frank, O-R-I-N-G-E-R as I've had to say it forever). I can easily get my name on a list in a noisy restaurant, very few people ask how to spell it over the phone (yes, I've had a few ask), and what isn't cool about having an alliterate name. And really, it is just a name.
But it's my name.
Anyone out there that subjects themself to reading this horrific blog have an opinion for me that might help? Anyone else been divorced? What did you do? Who should I be?
A little bit of the rollercoaster I call my ever-changing life...
Friday, November 21, 2008
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7 comments:
I would never go back to my maiden name...in fact, the big joke is that the only reason I got married is to change my name..
Brest...yeah...try making a reservation under THAT last name.
I have a friend who went out first thing after her divorce was final and changed her name back. Of course, a lot who she is, stemmed from her name. She was always firstnamelastname all run together, even after she was married I could never call her by her married name. Just seemed...wrong.
I think it's up to you and what you are comfortable with. If I didn't have kids...I'd go back to my maiden name.
Good luck!
This is all you, babe. Personally, I think I would go back to my maiden name, but you have to do what you're most comfortable with.
if it were me, i would go back to my maiden name.
i actually never lost it - i use it professionally (in medicine) no one even knows my mmarried name in that part of my life.
it is a pretty hard decision - but i know you will make the one that is best for you!
one of my good friends is going through a nasty divorce - he cheated on her w/ her best friend, which coincidentally was also his best friends wife. anyway, she is changing her name back to her maiden name. they were only married 3 yrs and she wants nothing to remind her of his skank ass.
i think it would depend on the circumstance for me to make the decision. if we had no kids and it was an ugly divorce, i'd go back to my maiden name. if things just fell apart i might keep my married name. i soooo hated being tiffanie thomas. hated it.
Well, the good news is that you don't have to decide yet if you're not ready to.
As much as it was a PITA to have an unusual maiden name, I've felt a bit of a loss since I've changed it and still miss it at times--sometmes even feeling twingles of jealousy when I see my unmarried sister write her name or a female marry into the family and take the name. It's weird.
And I guess from the other perspective, if our cultures did the reverse and R took your name, would you want him to change it back? Just food for thought. You know I'm a devil's advocate like that.
And FYI, if you use your name on your blog, it'll eventually come up on google. I know DowntownBB is probably common enough, but your maiden will probably pop up after awhile. Just lookin' out.
xoxo
I actually have some advice. One of my co-workers recently got divorced after a several years of marriage. She is going back to her maiden name. I don't think the divorce was particularly nasty, but she wanted her own identity back. Some food for thought.
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