Black & White and Grey All Over

I got the draft for the Petition/Seperation Agreement/Decree about an hour ago. It's 14 pages long with lots of big words and formalities. Everything seems so black and white when you see it in writing and on paper like this. I know that in the court of law, it is black and white. They see these things tens of times a day.

But for me, it's personal.

I don't see the car they see listed under "JT" (joint for those of you like me who would have had no idea what that meant). I see a car that we bought literally 3 weeks after we were married because my poor little car couldn't make it any more. I see a car that we were so proud and so nervous to buy. It was the first brand new car either of us had ever personally owned and one that smelled so deliciously new as we drove it off the lot. I see a car that helped me understand that I was married and grown-up and making large financial decisions for the rest of my life with this man.

I don't see real estate that was purchased jointly. I see a house that became a home that has now been divided. I see memories in those colorful walls that started so blank. I see a washer and dryer that took weeks to buy to make sure we had the perfect set. I see a yard that was so lovingly taken care of day in and out. I see a dogwood tree in the yard that we were so excited to buy. I see a dining room suite that was bought spur the moment and had to be transported in the back of a pickup with my BIL riding with it freezing the whole way home. I see a gorgeous kitchen full of amazing appliances that were fought over when we signed the papers. I see a curtain in the dining room with a hole in it where our newest puppy decided to have a small snack.

The truth is I see memories and hopes and dreams in between the lines of these papers. I see good times and bad times. I see two lives that have taken drastic turns from where they were headed 2 years ago. I see grey...