And there you have it...

As of 9:30 this morning I am legally a single woman. Fuck.

I met Ryan about 10 after 8 in downtown so we could just ride together to get to the courthouse. Once we got parked and found which building we were supposed to go to we managed to walk in about 8:25 for our 8:30 appointment. We got checked in and both sat relatively nervously in the lobby. He's always nervous so that doesn't really count for anything, but I was mostly nervous that I'd break down crying in front of everyone and look like a total basketcase. Our attorney got there and got us "in line" to go in and get it over with. We were in about 9:15 and about 9:18 evrything was finished. It was quick and painful. It was all so cut and dry and black and white. When we walked into the hallway Ryan gave me a hug asked if I was ok and told me he loved me. I lost it. Well, not completely lost it. But there were definite tears.

Then we made it back to the car and decided we were both hungry and we wanted to grab some breakfast. So we went to Denny's for some grub. La-Z-Boy is next door and I mentioned I was going to go over and look for a couch and he said he'd come along if I didn't care. And I didn't care. So he came along with me. I didn't really find anything there I liked so we decided to check out the Target clearance section and hopefully find a kick ass deal on another coffee table. While we were there we didn't find anything that I liked so as we were walking out we walked by the vaccums and I realized that I don't have one. Who knew not having a vaccum could ruin your entire fucking day? Honestly. But I made me feel like I've got nothing. Liek the last 6 years of my life have gotten me nowhere.

This whole thing is better for me. I'm happier than I've been in a very long time and I know there are big, bright things in my future. But it sure as hell doesn't make any of this any easier whatsoever.

I'm at work right now waiting for an appointment that is showing up an hour late. It's just one of those days I think. Tonight my plan is to go home, drink a shitton of wine and cry myself to sleep watching a sad movie. Sounds like a great Hugh Grant night....