We had our first counseling appointment tonight. It went pretty well I think. We were both pretty open about our thoughts and feelings and were both calm about the whole thing. Our assignment is as follows: Write down 5 small things the other person does that makes you feel loved and have a date night on Friday and on Sunday. So we'll see where that takes us.
Quite honestly, I didn't feel a big rush of emotion when I saw him tonight like I thought I might. I was really nervous all day about seeing him and I was really nervous about how tonight would go, but I didn't get excited or angry or anything when I saw him. Maybe I anticipated too much about it.
I have an appointment by myself next week and then we have a joint appointment the week after. Ryan is going to be making an individual appointment by himself as well. She said she thinks there is a pretty good possibility things can and will work. I think she had a hard time reading me tonight, which I understand cause I was having a hard time reading myself.
She asked what I wanted to get out of this, what my ultimate goal is. And I was completely honest that I'm worried that things got too bad to get good (I hate how I say that, but I have no better way of saying it).
So I really don't feel enlightened whatsoever (and yes, I knew it would take more than just one session) and quite honestly, I feel a little more cloudy at this point.
Patience.........
A little bit of the rollercoaster I call my ever-changing life...
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
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5 comments:
Baby steps...... it's already such a big step that you're getting him to go with you- I think that can be enough for now. I think you're handling this amazingly well.
i am so glad that you both were able to go. one step at a time, and whatever is ment to be will be! [hows that for overlymeaphoric?!]
i think you are doing a great job so far
It's a step in the right direction. Which direction? I don't know, but I know it's the right one! Good luck!
Cloudy is fine! There's no rush to figuring out what you want and you can always reserve the right to change your mind (either way!)
I am so glad you were able to go and I hope that in time it will help both of you. I think it's great that he is going, and that you both get your individual sessions too. And you're right, now is a good time for patience. You can't fix everything in a day.
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