Ultimatum

I did it, I gave him an ultimatum last night.

I'm actually horrible at sharing my feelings with Ryan and telling him exactly what is on my mind. I'm always so afraid that one wrong word will send him into a tailspin and all hell will break loose. But I've realized, it's already basically like that. And who wants to live hiding their feelings and thoughts all the time? So everytime he and I 'talk' (I use the term lightly) I usually candy coat most of what I want to actually say to him. But not last night. Last night, I told him it's time for him to take the first step to helping himself, or I'll take the first step out of the front door and not look back. Yes, it was harsh, but it got my point across. And it gave me a reason to not go back on my word in my mind this time. It was said out loud, he knows it and I know it, so it has to be done. And it will.

You know, the worst thing about my every single day is how many times I get asked how long I've been married and how my wedding was and if I'm happily married and all that. It's so hard to lie through your teeth. I think I've posted about that part before, but seriously, it's hard! And exhausting.