So yesterday was a little strange. Ryan bought a car. He really does need one...he went through an entire bottle of antifreeze in two days because his radiator is leaking so badly. His transmission has also started slipping some. So he's driving his dad's car until he picks up his new on Thursday. It was weird because I kinda of pushed to not be on the loan. It was really hard. Not that a car is a HUGE decision, but it's a pretty decent one. I just don't know what the future holds. He's on my car loan. Which is what we had to do in order to get approved, but that was 2 years ago (literally to the day he's getting his - weirder!) and things were a little different then.
I know all I do is whine about this, but it hurts so bad. I can't describe the things it makes me feel. Sometimes angry, sometimes sad, and sometimes even numb. And I don't whine to have people hear me, I just don't know what else to do about it. I'm not trying to be a wuss about it and just sit around and not do anything about it. It simply consumes my entire life. It's undescribable.
This weekend was my brother's graduation party. I missed the majority of it because I had a wedding and had to be here for that. But when I got there, I was glad I missed most of it. Turns out my cousin and his wife brought their 4-week old baby. It hurts to see that. It hurts to see them happy with a baby and on the track I wanted to be on. Now, I know I'm not getting old and my eggs aren't aging and all that crap, but I would like to be where I worked so hard to be right now. Ugh...ok...enough wallowing for now.
A happy note...My daddy sent me these :)
1 comment:
Your dad is awesome! Hang in there girl. And I don't think you are whining about everything you are going through. I'm glad you are letting it out and putting down your feelings...it's a great way to get through it. Don't bottle it up. We are all here for you and wouldn't be reading this if we didn't care about you!
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